Bad Advice
You should definitely not do all these things that I’ve done. Sasha Chapin has a similar post.
College
Do a humanities or business degree that leaves you with obscene amounts of free time. Then start a band or something.
Learn to perform. Swap clothes, mannerisms, and personalities, whatever feels fun. If you’re even somewhat extroverted, there are like, half a dozen different groups you’ll be part of; use them all to try out these masks.
Say no to enough parties that you stop getting invited. Then go home and read in peace.
Dating
Spend incredible amounts of time and effort pursuing one person. Put all your eggs in one basket. If they take half your money, just double it again.
You can just, like, tell people you plan to marry them as soon as you know you want to. Even right after you meet them. Really. Nobody’s stopping you. (Girls would enjoy higher success rates if they tried this, maybe.)
If you must, use negative rizz.
Training
Never do bicep curls, shrugs or forearm-specific training. If you’re lifting with enough intensity and volume, those muscles get trained anyway.
Occasionally, train after 24 hours of no sleep. It’s pretty fun.
Don’t pull out the ice pack unless it’s for much-needed pain relief; slowing down blood flow doesn’t seem like something that would help with recovery. Go the other way, use a hot water bottle instead.
Avoid all kinds of static stretching too, except for microStretching.
Finance
If you’re young, spend your paychecks immediately. Save like, 10% if you want to. The present value of money is higher than you think, and there’s too many useful things to buy for thrift to be worth it. You’ll make more money in the future anyway.
Writing
Start a newsletter, intending to publish weekly posts. Instead, only send out writing that you’re proud of, and end up publishing once per month (if at all).
Have a fairly unfiltered anonymous blog, and upload stuff as often as you can. Use something like write.as or Bear Blog.
Tell nobody about it, but link to it in conversations that are about a topic you’ve written about. You will receive none of the positive externalities that writing online usually brings but at least you’ll have stopped pretending that you intend to start publishing someday.
Music
Buy an instrument, and leave it lying around. Never put it in its case or have a special stand that’s in the corner of a room. Noodle around often.
Learn only what you want to. Your favourite song is easier to play than you think, even if it takes a long time to get there.
Steal lyrics by listening to songs where messy vocals make it hard to hear exactly what’s being sung, and then write down what you think you heard.
Lifestyle
Never vote. It’s not worth it.
Renounce moderation until it drives people nuts.
Make a list of movies people have told you to watch, tell people who give you new recommendations that you’ll “add it to the list” and then never use the list.
You can afford to be more confrontational than you think, as long as you’re smooth with it. There is confrontation for the sake of confrontation, and then there’s a genuine concern/curiosity that is often not acted upon. The tricky bit is making sure the latter doesn’t feel like the former.
Never get 8 hours of sleep, you don’t need it if most of your day is just spent sitting around.
Productivity
Don’t do things you hate doing. Learn to enjoy them, or stop.
Get a phone that’s 6 years old, with a screen smaller than credit card. Then turn on system-wide grayscale.
If you must, try structured procrastination.